Funny Signs Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed. " Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak. " At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blow out. " Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?" Sign at the psychic's hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you. " In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan. " In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks. " In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!" On a shopping mall marquee: "Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced" Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques. " In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends. " On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak. " In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished. " In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves. " In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work. " On a roller coaster: "Watch your head. " On the grounds of a public school: "No trespassing without permission. " On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable. " Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash: "If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car. " ------------------------ Giggle for healthy life From: GigglePedia. com

Park rangers at the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park are discouraging people from leaving religious offerings at the top of Mount Kilauea. They say food is often left and that it attracts rats and cockroaches. An estimated 45 pounds of offerings are left every week.

In a bid to make use of nearly two tons of fibrous panda poop that animals drop each day, researchers at China's Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base in central-western Sichuan province are seeking to join hands with area paper mills. The catch: processing of the excrements of the grisly mammals into valuable office quality paper. According to Liao Jun, a researcher at the panda reserve, the idea of turning panda poop into paper came from Thailand where conversion of elephant dung into a variety of products such as artificial flowers, gift boxes and photo frames, is hugely popular.

nstead of your traditional chocolates or flowers, New York City officials decided to celebrate this year's Valentine's Day by handing out free condoms to city residents. Mayor Michael Bloomberg, whose health department's condom program already distributes 1. 5 million free condoms each month, hopes the city's special Valentine's Day efforts will help encourage people to engage in safe-sex practices during the holiday and beyond.

President George Bush was not afraid to admit that he is not very savvy when it comes to Valentine's Day. First Lady Laura Bush agreed. While she has never spent a February 14 in the White House without a beautiful bouquet of flowers or a romantic dinner that night, she said the romance is not always the workings of her husband.