Durex is seeking candidates in Canada to test condoms. The company says this is one job that workers will like to take take home with them specifically straight to the bedroom. On the company's website www. durexcondomtester. ca/ officials are calling for a few good men. "Durex(R) wants condom users to not only have safe sex, but to also have fun," says Stephen Mare, Brand Manager, Durex Consumer Products. "What better way to make sure that our condoms are meeting the needs of Canadians than to ask Canadians first-hand? We know Canucks are up for it!"

A three-year-old African Grey parrot called Severiano Ballesteros has lately been making waves among rugby-crazed fans for cheering alongside with them for their favorite team. According to his owners Taffy Howell, 59, and wife Jean, 50, both rugby fans, Seve chants ''Gloucester, Gloucester'' in a West Country drawl whenever he sees his team play on TV.

A Portland man almost died when he tested fate and put his pet rattlesnake in his mouth. Of course, the risky behavior came after a few beers with his friends, but nonetheless it nearly got him killed.

Whenever a man has something to say, you can be sure a woman always has to have her say in the end. . . He said. . . Want a quickie? She said. . . As opposed to what? He said. . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said. . . You wear briefs, don't you? He said. . . Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? She said. . . Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money. He said. . . This coffee isn't fit for a pig! She said. . . No problem, I'll get you some that is. She said. . . What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said. . . It's not my fault. . . I ran out of money. He said. . . Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She said. . . Well, you succeeded. Priest. . . I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband. She said. . . Who's gonna look? He said. . . You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man? She said. . . No, have you? He said. . . Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains? She said. . . Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind. He said. . . Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said. . . Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on. He said. . . Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said. . . I would, but you're never there. He said. . . Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said. . . That's a good idea. . . You stand by the ironing board, while I sit on the sofa and fart. He said. . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said. . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat bastard. __________________ Gigglepedia

A Monessen, Pennsylvania high school has accepted the resignation of a an art teacher after he won a date with a porn star on a radio show. Jaison Biagini, who taught art for 14 years in Monessen, near Pittsburgh, says he entered a Sirius satellite radio contest on the 'Bubba the Love Sponge' show because it would win him with a free weekend in Tampa. Biagini said he was interested in visiting the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg. The teacher won, and took off for Tampa, where he met porn star Akira.