"I'll have to report you, sir, " said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour. "

"Nonsense, officer, " declared the driver. "I've only been in the car for ten minutes. "
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"Now as I understand it, Sir, " said the police officer to the motorist, "you were driving this vehicle when the accident occurred. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I'm afraid not, officer, " replied the motorist. "I had my eyes shut!"
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"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least. "

"You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old. "
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