A textbook used in western India compares housewives to donkeys and concludes that the pack animals make more loyal companions, a newspaper reported on Tuesday. ''A donkey is like a housewife,'' declares the textbook approved by the state of Rajasthan, according to The Times of India. ''It has to toil all day and, like her, may even have to give up food and water. ''

Canada bans an Australian tourism campaign in their country for the apparent use of the term "bloody hell", which is deemed offensive in many parts of the world, and for luring visitors by saying "We've poured you a beer!". The ads begin with characters saying: "We've poured you a beer and we've had the camels shampooed, we've saved you a spot on the beach. . . and we've got the sharks out of the pool".

A police officer's night job as a standup comic specializing in offbeat humor may cost the Jersey officer his badge. "Club Soda Kenny," Sgt. John Feder's alternate persona, was suspended last week after someone sent in a cd of his act.

The Clark County coroner's office is walking a fine line between humor and morbidity in its gift shop. There's a coffee mug with the inscription "Playing for Keeps," a $10 fake jawbone that holds business cards and a T-shirt that reads "Coroner . . . Cashed Out in Las Vegas. "

The GQ Man of the Year is. . . Jennifer Anniston. Aniston earns the honor because the magazine said she showed a lot of poise, grace and good humor during her breakup with Brad Pitt this year. The acting couple's divorce was granted last month after four years of marriage.