The Russian who designed the most popular assault rifle ever made says the use of his gun in Iraq proves it is still superior to other weapons. Mikhail Kalashnikov says, "Even after lying in a swamp you can pick up this rifle, aim it and shoot. That's the best job description there is for a gun. Real soldiers know that and understand it. "

The most famous porn star in Italy, Cicciolina, is willing to trade sex with Osama Bin Laden for peace, according to a report from the AP. The porn queen, 55, reportedly stated that it is somebody should do something to pacify the terrorist, claiming that she may be the right woman to make the effort.

The U. S. Postal Service deems Sergeant Jason Lyon unfit for delivering mail. They have declared the New York National Guardsman suffers from a "physical impairment" that prohibits a job as a carrier. Lyon was wounded during a roadside bomb attack in Iraq that killed three of his friends. He later sprained an ankle.

In a tactic made famous by the War on Terror, Florida police are looking to use playing cards to close the book on some unsolved criminal cases. When an International Coalition went into Iraq to topple the dictatorship of Saddam Hussein, they brought with them playing cards, each marked with an Iraqi leader and a price for their capture.

The Pentagon has launched a new initiative aimed at creating more happy couples. The program, called "How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk," aims to teach troops the correct way to choose a spouse. The Defense Department says that more than 56,000 people in the Army have divorced since 2001, when the Afghanistan campaign began. Those numbers show that strain of war, distance and long period of time spent apart have taken their toll on troops' relationships.