The nation won't soon forget the Wal-Mart employee in Long Island, N.Y. who was trampled to death trying to hold back thousands of angry holiday shoppers bursting through sliding glass doors anxious to get their hands on discounted merchandise the day after Thanksgiving. And for the next few weeks, people in Palm Desert, Calif. will likely discuss the two men who shot and killed each other in the aisles of Toys "R" Us, seemingly to settle an argument their girlfriends were having.

Stories like these capture the nation's attention and make headlines around the world. Commentators and newspaper editorials questioned whether greed and consumerism are trumping our values and making the holidays a particularly violent time of year.

But more likely, experts say, these incidents are isolated. The holidays are a violent and tense time of year for many in this country, but not in the way headline-grabbing stories like the Wal-Mart and Toys "R" Us incidents would have us believe.

Instead, this is the time of year when police and medical professionals see a rise in domestic violence.

"The holidays, particularly around New Years Eve, and to some extent Christmas, are bad times for domestic violence," Dr. Nadine Kaslow, professor and chief psychologist at Emory University, said.

Most domestic violence cases don't make the news, except when they turn deadly, and even then, maybe they'll make the local evening news telecast. But they're equally as tragic, even if they're less sensational. On Thanksgiving Day, the night before the Wal-Mart worker was killed, the mother of 30-year-old Donna Brown opened her daughter's apartment door in a Baltimore suburb to find Brown's boyfriend, 36-year-old Rex Nicholas Wesley, standing over her dead body. He had stabbed her to death.

Likewise, Christina Osborn, 21, was found dead by Shawnee, Kans. Police in her apartment on Thanksgiving night. Police suspect her boyfriend, Brandon Nicholas Reed. The two were in a year-long relationship that police say was marred by domestic abuse.

Most cases of domestic abuse and family conflict don't end this badly, but the holidays do have a tendency of bringing out the worst in us.

Experts point to a number of factors that cause people to act violently and aggressively toward each other during the holidays, but the main contributor is more alcohol and drug use.

"The word holiday comes from the words holy days, meaning there's a lot of unstructured free time. It's time to celebrate, and there's an increased use of drugs and alcohol," said Dr. Jim Dasinger, a private practice psychologist in Baltimore, Md.

Dasinger said researchers in the 1990s particularly took notice of the phenomenon when they were studying violence during Super Bowl Weekend - when people were not working and they were drinking more than they normally would.

"But then they also found the same was true during the holidays," Dasinger said. "There's less responsibility, but there's increased stress."

This stress has many roots and can compound tensions that are buried during most of the rest of the year, said Sheryl Rindel, director and clinical supervisor of the Family Violence Intervention Program at the Domestic Violence Resource Center in Oregon.

"If you add the stress of income constraints and the expectation that every child receive every toy on the wish list they've written to Santa, pre-existing marital conflict or conflict with in-laws, and 20 people in a confined space who don't necessarily like each other but must pretend to get along, then it's no wonder that emotions intensify," she said.

Mental health professionals also fear this year's holiday season might be made more stressful by the worldwide financial crisis. Money is also the root of many family problems and arguments, and if a relationship is abusive, the batterer may feel even more insecure if he or she can no longer financially support the family.

"Domestic abuse or battering is the wielding of power and control over an intimate partner," Rindel said. "When a batterer feels they have lost control over the finances, or who their partner talks to and where they go, and they cannot isolate them from other family members who may support them in their effort to escape, it is possible that violence will escalate in order to regain power and control."

Pour alcohol and drugs on the situation, "which typically happens during festive times, the combination can become deadly," Rindel added. Kaslow also said breakups are common this time of year and "people tend to want to hurt each other during breakups."

"People need to be mindful and more careful this time of year. It's best to stop things before they escalate," Kaslow said. She also reiterated drinking and drug abuse only exacerbates the situation.

"If both people are drinking, that makes it worse. They can egg each other on," she said.

Like any time of year, Kaslow said the main goal is to make the abuse stop. If the abuser won't get help, it is best for the victim to leave the relationship.

Kaslow said the victim should always have a "safety plan" that includes having materials and documents prepared, making sure there is a support network of family and friends the person can stay with, and knowledge of the nearest domestic abuse shelter.

Religious institutions often can point abuse victims in the right direction. On a practical note, Kaslow said people living in the northern part of the United States should realize that when the weather turns cold, abuse shelters can be booked quickly.

But most importantly, people should know that abuse is not normal and should not be put up with.

"People should remember that they should not tolerate physical, sexual, emotional or verbal and psychological abuse at any time of the year," Kaslow said.