We human beings seem to have a strange fascination with the end of days. If we’re not creating TV shows about zombies or writing novels about a post-apocalyptic world, our brightest and best scientists and writers are predicting exactly when and how it is going to happen. Spend too long thinking about all of this stuff and you might want to disappear from view forever…
But why do that when we can have a little fun with the fascination about our demise? When I watch these TV shows, read these books and view these articles, I always think the same thing: If you can’t do anything to prevent it, why fight it? Let’s all blow the money we have (which is worthless if the apocalypse is coming anyway) and buy ourselves a big house overlooking the beach and live out of the rest of our days soaking up some sunshine.
Sounds great, right?
Let’s run with this idea. The apocalypse is coming. You’ve got your beach house. How are you going to prepare it for the end of days? Let’s take a look at the different forms of apocalypse and come up with a plan to be prepared for each.
The Zombie Invasion
George A. Romero, you have a lot to answer for…
Zombies have never been hotter than right now, and if most people were to pick out their ideal apocalypse, it will probably be the zombie invasion. The main reason for this is that the world doesn’t explode, set on fire or live in a permanent nuclear winter. It stays exactly how it is… Except for the walkers trying to feast on our flesh.
No problem! If you have a beachfront home, you are nicely elevated above sea-level and can round up supplies and sit out the end of days quite comfortably, while enjoying beautiful ocean-views. You might want some quality headphones to drown out the moaning of the undead, but other than that, you’re pretty set.
A beachfront home with cargo lifts installed gives you the extra help of being able to lift heavy supplies up to your home without any undead getting in, so you can take out your stairs and use your Houston cargo lifts for transportation of all your survival needs. It may not be the end for you after all…
The Extra-Terrestrial Threat
Aliens. Do they exist or not? Are we alone in the universe? And did they really take Elvis Presley?
These are just three of the questions that arise when you consider that the world might meet its end at the hand of enemies from the further reaches of space. As soon as aliens attack in any form of popular culture, the President or army guy instantly tells you to stay in your homes and lock your doors. To the beach house, then!
In 99.9% of films and books, it’s always the big cities that get blown up in spectacular style, so the beautiful coastal home is your best bet to be bypassed by invaders from Mars. Prepare your beach house for an alien invasion by filling the house with supplies and hope that the age-old killer of aliens in popular culture – germs and natural earth viruses – will finish them off before they blow us all to hell.
The Giant Meteorite
Back in 1998, two giant meteorite films hit our cinema screens in the same year. One had Bruce Willis and a team of deep-core drillers saving the world from a meteorite the size of Texas in Armageddon, the other had Morgan Freeman as President of the United States. That’s all I can really remember about Deep Impact…
If the world was going to meet its end via a giant meteorite, the best thing to do would be to get up on your balcony and enjoy the view. As the crazy space pilot says at the end of Armageddon: “We’ve got front row tickets for the end of the world!”
Get your loved ones onto the balcony, put on those shades and pull up a deckchair. If you’re going to watch the world end, it may as well be with the best view that mankind has to offer: The beautiful, rolling ocean waves and the sun on the horizon…