As uninspiring as it sounds on the face of it, the majority of people experience more failures than successes. They typically beat themselves up over the smallest things, yet they only acknowledge or bask in their biggest wins. This has a knock-on effect on a person’s confidence as they feel disheartened by this, becoming insecure and unconfident in their own ability. If sometimes you’re guilty of that then use the below four quick tips to help you silence your self-critic once and for all. If you stick to these points, you’ll find your confidence will come back faster than you could imagine!
Record Those Small Wins
A lot of the time people don’t have the right perspective on things. Say, for example, you aimed to speak to ten people today, but in fact, you only spoke with eight, people too often focus on the wrong side of It all – kicking themselves for the two they missed, not the eight they did. Instead of viewing an achievement as all or nothing, give yourself some credit! Not succeeding in perfection isn’t a failure so look at the things you did get right.
Therefore, you need to stop this mindset. Anytime that thought process starts to creep in, straight away start by making a list of what you did do, no matter how small they are. Although you might not have said the right thing, remember, you at least had the confidence to start the conversation. When you switch the way you review yourself, you start to believe in yourself and what you’re capable of, knowing that next time, you will do even better.
Don’t Credit Yourself On a Number of Hours You Work
This is aimed at those who don’t like because they don’t work loads of hours, they don’t have any worth. Let me tell you, you couldn’t be more wrong. For those freelancers out there – sometimes it can feel that you’re not putting enough effort in if you take the afternoon off because you’ve completed your to-do list. When those times occur, you need to again wipe away the negative and remind yourself that your achievements aren’t based on a number of hours you work. If you’ve finished your work, you’ve earned the time to treat yourself to a break!
This can be a hard one to win as you’re in battle with your sub-conscious so even with a bit of logic it can be tough. However, by continuously taking it through with yourself, after a bit of mental training, you’ll notice the change and reap the benefits.
Make The Move to Mute Your Self-Critic
At times in life, it can take one small and slight bit of progress to make you believe you’ve done enough. If it’s been a long day but your self-critic won’t switch off, pick a chilled chore that won’t drain your energy. Einstein used to use this method as a way of clearing his mind and give him new ideas. It could be folding some laundry or putting those clothes away you’ve thrown on the floor. The point is that if something’s nagging you and not letting you unwind, make the move to make yourself feel like you’ve got something you wanted to do, done. You’ll find the small task will take your mind off of it and help you relax.
Changing Your Thought Process
Your history will always be there and there is no escaping that. Too often do people use their past failures to forecast their future chances of success. What you need to bear in mind is that this can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, so you need to change your thought process to one that boosts your confidence and your likelihood for a win.
Try this! Next time you revert to your track record in your mind, mentally stop yourself and say, ‘that was the past, it can’t be changed, but what can be changed is my future. Today, I choose to be more (confident, brave, honest, loving, kind, cool-headed, or whatever it is that you want’.
You’re in control of what happens so it’s never too late to make a positive change. This isn’t going to be an immediate change, but it’s all about repetition. If you practice this, you build the self-belief and you start to believe in the message you’re saying. It’s not fair to be too hard on yourself for past mistakes. You can re-define yourself and you can re-build yourself, it’s just about making the change to do so, which you need to have the belief you can so stop doubting yourself!
Your Worth Isn’t Valued in The Amount of Likes You Get
Another thing that everybody is guilty of today, is judging themselves and comparing themselves to what they see on social media. The lengths in which people go to today to look like the photoshopped stars, they’re seen every day on their feed is scary. In 2016 alone there has been a dramatic rise in plastic surgery to copy celebrity looks, but what’s worse is there has been an even bigger rise in cosmetic surgery compensation. With everyone looking for a quick fix to look like the next Kardashian, they’re opting for cheaper, under par treatments that are leaving them further from what they unrealistically desired in the first place. We need to get out of this mind-set and stop comparing ourselves to others. We are beautiful and you need to remind yourself of that. Try spending less time looking for Instagram and more time looking in that mirror, telling yourself you’re amazing and you don’t need a big change to feel better about yourself.